Saturday, December 31, 2016

Doing the tree top tumble!

Be mindful of the dangers of possibly falling while decorating (or undecorating) your Christmas tree!  Remember a ladder is no place for showing off your one legged jingle bell jig in high heel shoes either!

I will be busy avoiding breaking my hip over the next week or so.  Also known as undecking the Christmas hoard halls that my house is comprised of.  It takes great skill and time to pack two rooms of Christmas crap into a mere 12 storage containers!  Tight rope acrobatic skills are helpful in this endeavor also.

Friday, December 30, 2016

Pet Rocks

Nearly every holiday season I have PB makes gifts for the family.  This year we went with Pet Rocks!
He came up with and drew faces for each one.  We also made them adoption certificates which included the rock's name, date of birth, and some character traits.  Here are a few:

DOB: Dec 30, 49 MYA (million years ago)
Collects stamps.  Watches foreign films. Once got mistaken as a potato.

Dec 15, 50 MYA
Likes rainy days, leaky roofs, and asparagus.

Dec 31, 75 MYA
Was best friends with a stegosaurus named Kenny. 
 Spent the Ice Age in a cave in Germany.

May 1, 45 MYA
Collects people's mustaches.  Loves bell-bottom pants.

I think they all turned out super cute.  I like PB's illustration style. PB, Mr. Husband, and I came up with the traits together which was a lot of fun.

Here are a few other PB Christmas crafties:
2013 and 2012

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Fantastic Beasts Bowtruckle

PB's handmade gift from me this Christmas.  He is a huge Harry Potter Universe fan so I went with making him something from the newly released film, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.  His very own Bowtruckle!

I found the directions here.  I changed some stuff to make it more to my liking, such as adding extra wire for more appendages and using large leaves.  I think he turned out super cute and PB loves him!

Here are some past posts of PB gifties I have made him for holidays of yesteryear:

Narwhal Friend
DIY Guitar Picks
T-shirt Blanket
Suitcase Play Set
GI Joe Back Packs
Sk8 Shop

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Peppermint Skulls

Christmas candies I made for Mr. Husband  this year.

I made these using a silicon skull ice cube mold tray, white candy melts, and pulverized candy canes.

Easy Cinnamon Roll Christmas Shits

Well, Hidey Ho and a Merry Christmas friends!

I am bringing you a Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo approved Christmas morning treat!

I came across a pin for Easy Cinnamon Roll Christmas Trees on Pinterest and my jaw dropped!! Anyone that can look at these and not see a pile of crap has quite the imagination.

No matter how much green icing and sprinkles are applied...  It is a turd!
Well, so be it!  At our house we generally do have cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning so I decided to go with the idea but being for reals with it....

Start by shaping your rolls into turds and bake. Add chocolate syrup to the white icing pack included with the rolls.  Apply this to slightly cooled piles.

 If you want sparkly turds just add some holiday festive sprinkles!

Merry Crapmas!

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

A Christmas Story Menu

One of the best holiday movies.... A Christmas Story.
There are so many great lines and scenes.  I decided to incorporate some of them into a themed dinner along with our family viewing of the movie this season!

"Show mommy how the piggies eat!"
As the main course, we had meatloaf, beatloaf, I hate meatloaf and mashed potatoes.  Not going there with the boiled red cabbage, but we did have sauteed spinach as a substitute.

"He looks like a deranged Easter bunny."
For dessert we had deranged Easter bunny cookies along with 'Don't forget to drink your..' Ovaltine.

The recipes for the meatloaf and the sugar cookies came from a couple of my vintage cookbooks.

 Betty Crocker Picture Cook Book 1956

My take:  I used soy sauce in place of Worcestershire sauce (didn't have).  I also didn't have dry mustard or celery salt, who does?!  I used Tony's and greek seasoning instead. I also threw in 1/4 cup of instant brown rice that was hanging around needing to be used up.  I made a topping out of catsup and soy sauce.  It turned out pretty well considering I don't really care for red meat.

The cookie recipe is from another vintage Betty Crocker cook book but I didn't like the overly sticky consistency and flimsiness of the dough so it is not getting my approval.  Just use sugar cookie mix.

Oh yeah!  We also dressed in our Christmas Story jammies and pink bunny ears!
 Hope you all got what you wanted for Christmas... an official Red Ryder carbine action two hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time...and not a football.  I don't think a football is a very good Christmas present.

Monday, December 26, 2016

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians props

I'm sure everyone would like to have a 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians' themed holiday/ party for next season so I am going to share some 'How-to' descriptions of the props I made for our photo shoot.  Here is a nice long boring rambling post that I don't recommend you read unless you have a Martian function in your future.

~Martian Head Gear~
  kid's plastic army helmets from dollar tree, plastic tubing for organizing electric cords from dollar tree, gold pipe cleaners, green craft foam, green glitter, foam cushioning 3 inch thick pad, gold spray paint, green spray paint, duct tape, craft white glue, hot glue. 

How to: 
Cut tubing to proper length for side of helmet. Spray paint tubing gold. Set aside to dry.   Cut out a rounded edge rectangle of green foam to a size proper for the front of the helmet.  Apply thin layer of craft glue to front of craft foam and sprinkle on green glitter.  Let dry. Trace green foam onto a piece of 3 inch foam cushion.  Cut out cushioning and shape the back into a concave fitting to the rounded front of the helmet by cutting and carving with scissors.  I know that sound vague or possibly hard but all you are doing is really cutting out a divot so it fits the helmet. Spray paint molded cushion green and let dry.  Hot glue glittered foam rectangle to flat side of carved cushion, let set.  Drill small holes in helmet (I used a Drimmel) for the antenna and side tubing.  Twist two gold pipe cleaners together for each antennae,  Insert a half an inch of the pipe cleaner into the drilled hole on top.  Bend over the under side and duct tape in place. Repeat for other antennae.  Insert a pipe cleaner through the gold tubing.  Insert each end of the pipe cleaner into the pre-drilled side holes.  Bend over half an inch of each end on the under side of the helmet.  Duct tape in place.  Hot glue the front foam piece to the front of the helmet. 

I like for things to be used several times.  After we wore these as our costumes I then hung them on the Christmas tree as large ornaments!

 ~Martian Toy Shop Mixed Up Toys~
These are fun to make!

Several stuffed animals from thrift stores.

How To:
Seam rip different characteristics of 2 or more stuffed animals and sew them onto one another!

We placed these guys as decor under the Christmas tree after the photo shot.  PB loves them and they will be residing in his room after the holidays.

~Martian Guns (Homemade Wham-O Air Blasters)~

Cheap plastic toy gun form Dollar Tree or a thrift store.  black funnel from Dollar Tree, black spray paint, expandable spray foam in a can, duct tape.

How to:
Spray paint gun black, let dry.  Remove black tubing from funnel and cut away tip of funnel with a drimmel.  Place a strip of duct tape on the inside of the funnel to block the small opening hole.  Spray foam into funnel about 3/4 full.  Insert painted gun end into spray foam while it is setting up.  Hold in place til set.  After gun is fixed into funnel, spray paint exposed foam.

I placed the gun under the tree as decor but not sure what else is in store for it.

The Martian patches are made from yellow and black cardstock and filled in with black marker.
PB's says A-11 as a joke.  He hates the smell of A-1 sauce and he looks like Voldar's sour mug when he smells it.

I made PB and I Martian belts but did not photograph them.  They were very cheaply made and not meant to last longer than the photo shot.  They were made from a strip cut from old black t-shirt scraps with a square piece of yellow felt spray painted gold then hot glued down.  The dials are plastic coke bottle lids with a circle of yellow card stock glued on the tops then hot glued to the belt.

I made PB a cape from the green tablecloth that I picked up from a thrift store last month which was originally used as the 'pool table' backing on the dining room table for Thanksgiving. He now can use the cape as part of his wrestling costuming.  The green tablecloth was pretty large so I used what was left over from the cape as our tree skirt!   As you can see in the above image I even used it as the photo back ground.  Who knows what it will become next.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Merry Christmas From Mars!

Merry Christmas Martians and Earthlings!

Our Christmas theme this year centered around the holiday movie classic, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.  We did a fam photo shot at the 'Toy Shop on Mars' for our Christmas cards: 
We each depicted a character from the movie.  I was Momar (Mom Martain), PB was the evil Voldar, and Hubbs was the laziest man on Mars, Droppo (disguised as Santa)! 

Voldar and Droppo Claus are discussing if these dysfunctional toys could still turn a profit, possibly in the less intelligent regions of the universe. 

Binging on whipped cream and baloney sandwich food pills is a favorite past time of Droppo...
that and napping on the job.

Momar and Voldar.  
The face every kid wishes they could make when taking a picture with a parent.
Except this time it's a perfect Voldar expression!

Headbutts to all you Martian-mallows!

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Wreaths on Mars

Continuing with our 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians' Christmas theme... the front door wreath!

It is comprised of printed movie posters, little robots, vintage aluminum light reflectors, and little vintage Santa heads.

I made the base wreath several years ago and it gets a new look each holiday season depending on the theme.  Here are some of it's past looks:

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians Christmas Tree

It's that time of year... the middle of Septober when holiday depression hits martian kids and earthling adults... What's the answer? S-A-N-T-Y  C-L-A-U-S!!

A classic holiday favorite around our house every year is watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians!  We love watching the MST3K edition but also have the real deal version to view (to see the cut scenes!).  If you aren't familiar with the plot of this 1964 sci-fi fantasy film it can become complicated.  The Martians are concerned that their children are becoming boring dull drones from watching too much Earth television and want to add some real fun to their lives.  The plan is to kidnap Santa Claus and bring him back to Mars to make toys for the Martian children.  There's an incredibly goofy Martian named Dropo that is coined "the laziest man on Mars" (a line we use around our house all the time!) as the comic relief.  The bad guy-Martian is named Voldar and he doesn't like fun, children, or that "fat little man in a red suit".

You put all of that together and is spells C-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-s  T-r-e-e  T-h-e-m-e!

On the tree are martian headgear, mini space guns (in the movie they used store bought Wham-O Air blasters!), movie posters, mini Santas, and little robots. 

Another character in the film is Torg the robot.  He is used as the Martian muscles during a show down at Santa's workshop at the North Pole... a mild action sequence. Because as we all know there is nothing wrong with an action sequence in a holiday film as Crow points out in the MST version.  I decided to make a mini Torg as the "angel" tree topper.

As I mentioned earlier, Voldar is the bastard of the film.  He and his stooges sneak into Santa's workshop (Mars location) and sabotage the advanced technologically digitized automatic toy making machine.  Voldar's antics cause the machine to mix toys together..."A teddy bear with a doll head and a doll with a teddy bear head!"  I decided to make a few misfit toys myself to place under the tree!  A teddy bear with a dinosaur head and a dinosaur with a teddy bear head!  I think they are quite cute actually.  
We also have a vial of "food pills" (Martian cuisine) to leave for Santa in place of cookies and milk this year.  Instead they are rum cake with a side of rumple minze food pills!  Just trying to keep the jolly old elf... jolly

Here is the movie trailer for your holiday viewing pleasure!

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Zap! Crash! Comic Book Christmas Tree!

   About 3 years ago I started having PB help with coming up with his own themes to decorate our four foot aluminum Christmas tree that resides in the dining room.  In 2014, he came up with a Buddy Holly theme due to him being one of PB's favorite musicians.  In 2015, he suggested Aluminum Christmas tree themed aluminum tree because of our involvement with ATOM (The Aluminum Christmas Tree Museum) that year.  This year he and I came up with Vintage Christmas Comics as the theme! 

I found images depicting covers of vintage Christmas comics on the nets and printed them onto card stock.

Around the bottom of the tree we placed some of PB's comic collectibles.

One of his vintage Christmas comics.

Batman and Robin picking up a Christmas tree with the Batmobile.

Batman and Robin capturing the baddies in a tangle of tinsel under a mini christmas tree!

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Hall Decking 2016

'Tis the season for extension cords, command strips, duct tape, fishing line, power strips, hot glue, ladders....

Every holiday season hall decking is a huge task. I clear everything other than the primary furniture from the living and dining rooms and only have Christmas stuff displayed.  I got a bit of a late start this year and still find myself trying to tweak things (or rehang stuff that falls down, replace bulbs that burn out, and prop up things the cats knock over! ugh!).  I always mix the decor up a bit and how everything is presented each year.  I am really pleased with the main wall in the living room (above and below images).  I think it could become my regular Saturday night thing for every Christmas. 

I hung the felted reindeer on the wall this year!  They were always falling over off of their skinny stick legs anyway.  I also attached a few plastic Santa trays up there too.    

A closer shot of the green shelf...adding more and more every year.  It's a game! See how many new items you can spot using the above 3 images!  (Answer: eleven)

The fraternal order of Santa Claus members at their annual meeting.

The "nays" have it.  Next year we will not be allowing Blitzen to be in charge of the office parties.  His reindeer games are getting a bit boring.

The Herald Santas sing!

I really love how this Santa choir display turned out.  This is going to be another repeat for next year's holiday decor.
Even though I do like to switch up where the decorations go each year, I am starting to wane toward just finding what works the best for each spot and sticking with that.  It's such a massive Santa ass sized undertaking every year!