For today's Dish the Dirt I have got a doozy of a story for you all. It's an experience I had back in April that going into it I saw nothing but a clusterf*ck and torture but it needed to be done....and I now know I was the only one who could do it and the end result I couldn't have even imagined.
So grab yourself a pot of coffee and a pack of smokes because this is gonna be a long ride!
Many of you who have read MHiCTY over the last couple of years have heard me mention my MIL. It's usually around the holidays because that is her dedicated seasonal reign of torture. It's a time of her talking at us, blaming us for why she hasn't done this or that, complaining about everything, and every year it's her last Christmas. My MIL can have a really nasty attitude and no matter how many times you tell her something if she doesn't like the answer she just keeps pushing. She chooses not to drive but will constantly complain that no one takes her anywhere. When you do take her somewhere she takes advantage of the situation and adds on a multitude of other places she wants to stop because she can get a 'Buy 10 get 1 free' deal on Oreo cookies. I mentioned last December that we had gotten some great news that my sister/brother-in-law where moving across country and taking my MIL with them. Can you imagine how ecstatic we were?! The exact date was dependent on when they sold their house but the plan was by summer 2024. They put their house on the market in March and it sold within a couple of weeks putting the launch date at the end of April. So here is where the clusterf*ck torture part comes in. I have hinted a few times about my MIL's house being a dumpster...I guess that's not much of a hint. But the reality is she is a hoarder. I mean a 'get Matt Paxton up in here' kind of situation. Hoarding is one subject I read and watch alot about, I have a real interest in it. Hoarding has levels from 1-5, with 5 being the most extreme and my MIL is a 3.5-4. This level has entryways inaccessible, basic appliances and functions of the house not working, piles of items reaching to waist high and complete rooms blocked with items. She has lived in this house for 30 years, it's a 3 bedroom 2 bath with 2 car garage..... a huge house with plenty of cubic feet to be stuffed full. At the beginning of April Mr. Husband and I got our nerve up to go into the hoard to locate some items that he wanted from when he was younger, having a vague idea of where he remembered them being 20 years ago. Now remember the plan was set that they were moving many months before back in 2023. When we went into her house I could tell she hadn't been packing other than one tiny box with some old coke bottles in it. This was not the house of someone who was moving in a month. Mr. Husband and I spent about 3 hours making our way from the bedroom door to the bedroom closet to search for his items if that gives you an idea of how hoarded just one room was. As we were shifting stuff my MIL came in with a garbage bag. Which was like angels singing to me. I was like Yes! Let's do this! I wasn't aware that she was able to see "trash" and understand it honestly. We eventually made it to the closet but the items weren't in it. I started to think how much I would hate for her to move and not be able to take everything she wanted along with really hating if family photos or keepsakes were just let behind because of the time crunch and massive hoard so I went into action and worked with her sorting and packing nearly everyday up until they left.
We started out slow and spent a couple of weeks just on the living room since this is where she pretty much lived. I hauled at least 4 car loads of stuff to the thrift store and we had the city bulk pick-up come 3 times. She ordered a dumpster for a week and we really could have used 5 but I made it work. The next area we cleared out was the 2 car garage which was a level 5 hoard. The ceiling was falling in, items were piled literally to the ceiling, and I found 2 dead animals in there...one was a rat and the other quite possibly was a Chupacabra. We got the garage pretty much cleared and I laid a king size comforter on the floor and this was where we put the items she was going to keep. Since they are moving across country she had to be really selective and I was super proud of her. She made a lot of hard decisions and quickly. At this point in the clean-out we only had a week before departing so we assigned each day to a room and what ever didn't get done she would have to do as "homework" or just let it go. Since the dumpster was pretty much full at this point as one room was gone through the previous room became the new "dumpster" so we had some kind of space to maneuver. One day I was running a bit late and as I arrived to the house there was a flurry of activity and people. My MIL came out to my car saying "It's a miracle!" Her idea of a miracle was a creepy dude wanting to take the 2 broken down refrigerators that were in the garage and a meth head woman taking some of her expired food (and there was TONS of it). Lord, but she was happy more stuff was leaving the house. She couldn't take any furniture and was able to give away a lot of stuff to friends and neighbors. I allowed 2 days for packing and dealing with any loose ends at the end, one of which was my MIL and BIL were in a power struggle over her wanting to take her brand new refrigerator. It was only a few days before they were scheduled to leave and she was saying she wasn't leaving without it. I had to become mediator and come up with a solution to make her happy which wound up being giving it to the neighbors across the street. Oh my word it was a bitch helping get that thing out. Why on earth are they making fridges now so big they have to be taken apart to get through doorways?! My prime focus here was to get her packed and everything in the house gone through for the most part looking for photos and important documents. I wasn't expecting to be bringing much home from her house but surprisingly she had nearly everything I have been looking for and then some. I'm not going to have to buy body wash for 2 years, trash bags for 6 years, wax melts for a year. I've been wanting a garden weasel and lo and behold there was one in the garage. I have been wanting to make some sort of extension for my vacuum cleaner, well, she had 4 that didn't work so I took some of the hoses. New pair of leather garden gloves, check. 2 giant bags of garden soil, check. New box of plant food, check. Jugs of laundry soap, check. Cans of Off bug spray. check. Not one, but two jigsaws and they were in of all places, the master bedroom. She had all sorts of never used useful things all up in there among the debris. We also found a bunch of family photos which she gave us some and Mr. Husband's birth certificate. By the end we were both happy with the work we did and while the house wasn't empty, it was about 80 % cleared. The day they departed I did one final walk-thru just to make sure no documents/personal info papers were left behind and I'm glad I did because there was a huge pile in a closet. I took 10 large sized plastic bags full of these kinds of papers back to my house and worked on burning them over the next 2 weeks. I also donated things for her to several animal shelters (towels, blankets, dog toys, carriers). Because they were putting her house on the market to see what it would fetch even being in disrepair, my BIL hired a professional to clear out the rest of the stuff costing him about 1,200.00. I know this person had to get more dumpsters. The house did sell and she made a bit of a profit to use as the down payment for her tiny home she's having built.
So now for the bizarre thing I learned about my MIL through all of this time I spent with her. She is not the same person when the rest of the family are around. All of the nastiness, she only uses on Mr. Husband and my SIL family. Me and PB....she loves us, she is kind to us and we whole heartedly enjoyed working and spending time with her while helping her with the house. I realized that I had only been around my MIL maybe once without Mr. Husband there so that's why I had a negative opinion of her. I mean, I hate it for him and his sister but she thinks PB and I are gold. For the most part it was myself helping her but PB came over with me on one occasion. She was having what ever drinks and snacks we liked delivered to the house and all that. Several times Mr. Husband offered to come over and help and I told him no because she becomes difficult and moody when he's there. It's so weird.
The whole packing clean out was such a great experience. She and I had a fun time together. I even miss her! At one point the thought crossed my mind that she shouldn't move and just stay here but I got back into reality real quick. Her house was just not safe for her and some basic functions didn't work (one of the bathrooms, stove, central heat and air....etc.). I also know that I can't take her places every single week like she likes. We are all planning at some point to visit them but I told Mr. Husband he will have to stay with his sister while PB and I are going to stay with his mom so we can enjoy her pleasant side.And for those keeping score at home we found the items Mr. Husband was looking for: One of his dad's Hawaiian shirts, a Spook Hill t-shirt, and his Sega Genesis.
