martha, martha, martha

martha has put out a new halloween holiday mag this year along with having a few halloween inspired crafts in the living mag. have you seen these yet? oh martha, i am displeased with your offerings. waaay too many rehashed ideas from previous issues. to save you all some money i am putting up some of the best ideas (some old, some new) featured in the two current issues . seen above is the best and freshest idea she has to offer this year, entitled Harrowing Handicrafts. the spider webs and tatters are made from tissue paper. how to.

from here on out everything below was copy/pasted, not my words. i don't want any of the blame for the dorkish descriptions.

broomstick favors

Give witches-for-a-night a proper send-off with broomstick favors. You need two lunch-size paper bags for each broomstick. Unfold one bag, and push out its base while folding in the left and right sides. Using scissors, cut the bag into thin strips, stopping short of the base. Cut thin strips into the top inch of the second bag. Open both bags, and place the second bag inside the shredded one; fill with candy. Insert a small branch 1 inch into the bag; cinch the tops of both bags, and secure with black twine.

spiderweb eggs

Ingredients

• 1 dozen large eggs
• 8 cups water
• Gray sea salt, for serving
• Freshly ground black pepper, for serving
• frozen blueberries
  

Directions

1. Place eggs in single layer in a large saucepan, and cover with water and blueberries. Bring to a boil. Remove from heat. Cover; let stand 10 minutes.
2. Using a slotted spoon, remove eggs one at a time, and place on a folded kitchen towel. Lightly crack shell on side with the handle of a whisk or a wooden spoon. Transfer egg to medium bowl; cover with cooking water. Repeat with remaining eggs. Let eggs cool completely in water in refrigerator.
3. Carefully peel shells from eggs. Serve with salt and pepper. Spiderweb Egg How-To: After boiling eggs, remove them to a kitchen towel. Using the handle of a whisk, carefully crack one side of the egg and transfer to a bowl to soak in the blueberry-tinted water they cooked in. Wipe up any spills quickly; blueberry juice stains.

spider picks

With scissors, cut the bugs off plastic spider rings (available at party stores), then puncture their centers with a needle tool (from crafts stores). Insert the toothpick into the hole from bottom; color tip with a black marker. Set out with nibbles, such as mini mozzarella balls.

tissue paper garland

Cutting the strings of shapes won't drive you batty, since the paper comes accordion-folded in its package. With black tissue paper you can craft bats, cats, rats, or witches; orange makes great pumpkins; and white is perfect for skulls and ghosts.

Trace or draw desired design across full width of a package of folded tissue paper; we used a cookie cutter as our guide. Cut along the outline, leaving a bit of uncut fold at both sides so figures connect to one another. You'll end up with several strings of five or six shapes each; tape together for a garland.

the record bowl....

since a few of you asked what one was, here you go!


here's a link to a how-to.

bad kitty

i have been making a few record bowls for an upcoming function and thought i would share this odd album cover with you all.

moonlight madness.... a man (?) in a tiger suit and a scantily dressed fishnet stocking wearing female tweaks his whiskers....i just can not interpret this scene as anything but a sick sexual role playing fantasy (but really, who am i to judge) or maybe this is the hallucinations concurred after OD ing on cherry flavored robitussin. didn't listen to the record yet so that possibly insightful bit of info is lacking. i am sure it's all about creating some ambience in regards to... "moonlight madness".

my new best friend

i'd like to think that if i could run in the same circles as amy sedaris we would be best friends. i'd like to think that. i got her "hospitality under the influence" book as a gift from my mommy recently. have you seen it?! it's a book on entertaining, but my kind of entertaining which involves weird themes, unusual decor and interesting menus all reeking with sarcastic humor.
for instance, this cake:


there is also a chapter on crafts for hostess gifts... most are scrap craft kinda stuff and very goofy. she mentions in her book belonging to a craft club, the crafty beavers, where they make stuff while under influences that they give to nursing home patients as decor for their trays. i like that idea.

the photos and illustrations alone are worth buying the book. this one seen below is my favorite. and it has white powdered donuts....yum.
speaking of food, there are ALOT of recipes/menus and they aren't joke ones. they seem to be sound and quite tasty, covering an array of different cuisines. she covers basics like mac and cheese along with other less traditional ones such as shrimp and feta cheese appetizers in scallop shells.

her book also gives a glimpse into her personality and how she has fun with ordinary situations. she sells cupcakes to her friends for 25 cents when they come to visit. she has movie nights where she sets up a concession stand on an ironing board. she tells of beauty secrets such as to keep color on your lips after your lipstick wears off stain your lips prior with a cherry popsicle. she also recounts past family traditions such as when she was younger on her brother's birthday he requested eating duck but also requested that the rest of the family eat just spanish rice so they would envy him. now that's funny. she gives out helpful hints like "cashiers will notice patterns like ice cream at midnight three days in a row. the same is true for liquor. rotate your stores." point well taken and " buy organic lemons, if for no other reason than because the puckered tips make great nipples to stuff your bra." good idea!

the book is just so lovely and i must say, i like you too, amy...

screaming skull tote

here is a fairly recent crafty type endeavor. really bad of me to photograph a black bag with a dark brown background...sorry, i wasn't thinking. the black tote bag is prefab from a craft store. i then printed an image of the movie poster, The Screaming Skull, which happens to be my desktop background, onto iron-on transfer paper. tangent: i thought it would be an idea, maybe not a great one but an idea nevertheless, for someone (not me) to have a "what's on your desktop wednesday", kinda like the illustration friday and whatnot. yeah.... okay, back to the bag. i then applied the iron-on onto a piece of cream colored canvas. then did some crazy stitching around the border.

the dixie dolls and i made a few of these with the intent we would sell them at an event. maybe something that has to do with scary-ish old movies and such...

rainy day fun

pumpkinbutt merged goggly eyes and plastic toy foods together and came up with this:


i made this one. he's a mean cabbage...
cute huh?

memo...

i have removed the link to the recipes which was previously off in the sidebar. i can no longer get into my flickr account because i was being stubborn and didn't want to change my account over. i have tried every way possible to get back into the system but can't. i can't remember my password and then when i fill all the info out to get the password it sends me back around to a yahoo account that i know nothing about having or have forgotten having ever set up, and guess what? i don't know the password! so for now, consider it dead. i have been doing some editing within mhicty and many of the links in the old flickr will not work now. i may set up another flickr account one day but right now lopping a finger off sounds like a better time.

Crap Hound

i just discovered the most lovely series of magazines during the trip to atlanta called crap hound. it's nothing but clip art from front to cover. each edition focuses on a few items/topics. i have only been able to acquire edition 5 (hands, hearts and eyes) and the newest 6 (death, telephones, scissors).

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apparently the upcoming 7 &8 are to have a focus on church and state... i don't have much info on ordering but these guys may be able to help: reading frenzy