St. Nick gets a lot of requests this time of year. Best to get in a good word for yourself, especially if you happen to be on the infamous naughty list . Shameless and utter worship may help! Why not build him an illuminated shrine? After all, he is a Saint, right? This shrine is made out of shiny stuff (his favorite color) and cheap materials (it will be dark and his vision isn't the greatest). Simply write your request on a piece of paper and slip it into the enchanted stocking. Offer food and/or beverage (a flaming rum punch wouldn't hurt), say the magic words ( "shiny tinsel and a silver bell, please bring me what I wish for or someone will be getting hell...I mean a mug of wassail" ), and elfin magic will whisk away your hopes and dreams to the big man at the North Pole. It's just that simple!
A couple of close ups of the shrine. Magic stockings can be found at your local thrift store :
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To make your own Shiny St. Nicholas of the Sacred Silver Pan Shrine, locate the following ethereal items at Dollar Tree:1 silver aluminum pan, 1 Santa face ornament, 1 strand red garland, 4 sets silver glitter bells, 1 package green glitter " Merry Christmas" ornaments, 1 silver glitter star ornament (I bought 1 set of red glitter reindeer but did not use).
Items I had on hand were: small red felt Santa figures, reindeer, pixie, silver glitter snowflake stickers, and one of those lights-on-a-cord deals that is used for Christmas village houses. They sell them at Dollar Tree also, but I had 1 or 10 already around here.
Construction involves using hot glue and wire to attach everything to the pan. Cut a small hole in the back of the pan behind St. Nick's head to insert the light in to produce the heavenly glow. I lined the cut out hole with some electrical tape to protect the electric cord from being severed and thus diverting the Christmas wish to surviving electrical shock.
Please be aware that results may vary... I mean, you could be so far down on the naughty list that even the cash won't work!
I love it! It's high time that we gave him the respect that he's got coming!
ReplyDeleteI love your great sense of humor, very clever. i also like the
ReplyDeletevintage feel of this Santa shrine! I'm going to make one for my house. Thank you for sharing.
Dear Dickhead (also known as "Anonymous"),
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to inform you that Santa is not only leaving you coal this year but several flaming bags of reindeer shit that will be placed strategically inside and outside of your home. And because his reindeer are magical, so is their scat. The blazing bags are similar to those birthday candles that never go out no matter how much you blow (or stomp) on them!
Santa doesn't like rude assholes....especially ones that comment negatively about his Sacred shrine.
XOXO
Dear Eartha and Sheila,
ReplyDeleteSanta has informed me that he will be leaving you one billion Dollar Tree bucks in your stocking for your continued faith and worship!
Congrats!
@anonymous...."ugly beyond belief"...well....that's almost a sentence....
ReplyDelete