Rantin'

 

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For years now I have wanted to do a little gossip/rant/"fixin' to be some bullshit up in here" random yet reoccurring sessions here on MHiCTY.  For the intro image I wanted to find a photo of my grandmother sitting at her dining-room table, cup of coffee, cigarette all set to fill you in on the going-ons of the neighborhood, friends, family, friends of family, family of friends, and just random strangers that you will never in your life meet.  She'd sit there very calmly looking out the window and say things like "You know that Mr. Foster's wife has been running around with that new guy that moved in 2 doors down?" or "I heard your cousin's ex-husband is back in jail."  She had all the goods for someone who rarely left her house, or that table for that matter.I have yet to find that right photo of her so for now I am going to use the above image and hope I have followed all the right legal rules for presenting it, it's the closest I can get because I just have got to do my ranting.  I hate that you guys missed out on all the craziness over the years involving the flop house brothel that is on my block due to my lack of "proper intro image".  I'll have to go through the years long saga of it another time....it's a doozy.Today I want to dish over something that I have periodically mentioned on here.... my MIL.  It's good to let it out and maybe you all might find it amusing.  So to start off with, you may be surprised to know that I don't tell people about this blog if I personally know them or if they are local.  Only a few close friends and family are in the know.  Partly I do this because I don't want people stalking me (yes, I have had that happen) and it kinda would hurt my feelings if I did tell someone that I liked/cared for about MHIcTy and they didn't read it (and yes that has happened).  So it's just you and me and everyone outside the Red Neck Rivera....or so I think.  
Here's where we get in to it.  About a week after I posted about the "My Last Christmas" sweatshirt and had myself an abundance of rant therapy Mr. Husband got an odd phone call from his mom.  Now, this isn't a topic that is new, and it's one that we have addressed with her several times, which is that she doesn't have my phone number. There are numerous reasons for this and why I don't give my number out to barely anyone:  I don't answer my phone, my ringer is on silent, I rarely know where it is or look at it.  If someone wants to get in touch with me they know to call Mr. Husband about it.  He keeps his phone on him like it's an "on-probation ankle monitor"...literally he walks around the house with it in his pajama pants pocket.  I am so not doing that.  I use my phone pretty much for making outgoing calls (like to the plumber) and those are few and far between.  Mr. Husband's phone is our "home phone" is how I see it.  And then the personal reason why she specifically doesn't have my phone number is because she has no understanding of how to use a phone like a normal human being.  She calls multiple times in a row like it's an emergency but it's not.  She calls when a simple text would make far more sense.  And then she calls about nonsense bull shit like here recently.  So, back to the story.  She calls Mr. Husband and says to him "I'll buy Mary a phone so she and PB won't have to share one." HUH?  We have told her like I mentioned previously that I have a phone but I don't really use it so I don't give out the number.  Mr. Husband was stunned over this bizarre offering and just said "No, we're fine".   He didn't go into detail of the obvious that I have a phone and she knows this and thought maybe I had told her a tale about phone sharing, which I hadn't, and was covering for me.  So the next day she calls again pushing about buying me a phone.  Mr. Husband tells her again "No, we're fine, We have phones under control."  And then she just goes ape shit and screams  "I KNOW MARY HAS A PHONE!!!!! I SAW IT FALL OUT OF HER PURSE!!!!" and she hangs up.  And mind you, she called and did this to him while he was at work.
Ya'll.... WTF.  She's coo coo for cocoa puffs.  I literally showed her a photo on my phone at Christmas.  I have never told her I didn't have a phone.
So, the other part of this that is weirdly odd is I had posted my rant over her here and then days later she calls Mr. Husband up about the phone, something I had mentioned in the post.  Makes me wonder if somehow she has privy to MhiCTy.  No matter really.  Maybe if she reads this it will help her to control her pushiness and stop driving Mr. Husband to having a mental breakdown.
Next time I'll have to tell you all about her and the blue cup....good Lord.