Thursday, June 22, 2006

My! That's a huge wedge o' pie!

Swapatorium Leftovers!


Instead of presenting my usual unusual culinary delights of yesteryear, I bring you this cross section of what can be found in the bottom of a defunct garbage disposal after years of the maintenance guy "just waiting on the right part to come in"...

Actually, it's a slice of pie. No really, I'm not kidding you, it is apple pie! This recipe for Big Apple Pie is brought to us by the kind folks of Wrigley's Chewing Gum. By the looks of the pie, Wrigleys better not quit their day job. And to ease any speculations, there's no gum in the pie as one may fear.

Because of it's hideous presentation I just had to reproduce it! It's an "apple pie built to real he-man dimensions", weighing in at what seems like 20 pounds and is over 4 inches tall! It's what all the men folk want...Big Ass Apple Pie!

This pie's propaganda is in favor of making the men in the house happy. Sure it's "25 cents a wedge but for once dad and the boys get all they want". Huh? For once!? For once those greedy little bastards will get all they want?! They should consider themselves lucky to be getting any pie. What, with leaving their dirties all over the house for mom to pick up! "So go ahead and please them"..... Please this! I recommend tossing everyone a pack of gum and saying "Here's your damn dessert!" Then leave the dishes in the sink and go out with the girls for happy hour. Give them "All they can eat" ....yeah, chew up the whole pack if you like! Whew, a little housewife breakdown there! Okay, back to this pie....

Just a serving suggestion folks!

(click on recipe for larger image)
Nothing real special about the ingredients or taste of this pie except for the fact that the recipe calls for 6-7 cans of apple pie filling!!! That is crazy, I got away with just 4! Oh Man!

I tried to bestow the same hideous look to my pie photo but I just couldn't get it as dreadful as the original. I was quite depressed over this fact. A few packs of prechewed gum mixed in with the apple filling may just do the trick though...



Kellye said...

"Nothin' says lovin' like something sepia-toned from the oven!"

~Kellye a.k.a. Sweetpea86 @ LJ

julia said...

oh, Mary, this is one of your best. I laughed my @ss off! Love your vintage cooking adventures.

Anonymous said...

At first glance of the magazine image, I thought it was one of those simple pies where one merely takes a can of dog food, empties it into a pie crust, pops it in the oven and, voila! Yours looks much more appetising, (and the gum connection is a mystery, is one meant to chew vigorously after eating to keep it down?). Nice work:)

nancydrew said...

Your garbage disposal just made me throw up in my mouth a little.

Suse said...

Don't you just love a 'recipe' when the instructions are 'Take a pre-made pie crust and fill it with pre-cooked apple from a tin, then serve it and pretend you cooked it.'

And finish off with a stick of gum. Yum.