"It might be my last Christmas...."

To end out this season of Stressmas I bring you a little craft I did early on in December as an "Art Therapy" project to help me face the upcoming bullshit.

I told you all a bit about my MIL a couple of years back as part of  2021 Stressmas Wrap Up.  Every year she pulls the same BS about it being her last Christmas and that's why we should all bend to her will and whims.  This year she has started in with every holiday is her last now.  It may be her last Thanksgiving..  It may be her last Mother's Day....It may be her last Arbor Day. 

The thing is that it could be any of our last New Year's Day.  And I'm not going into details but no one knows this more than Mr. Husband, PB, and I.  We have had 3 years of fairly constant tragedies, loss, and deaths...and she knows this.

So since she seems to love to proclaim it's her last Christmas so much I decided she needed a sweatshirt for the special occasion...kinda like Baby's First Christmas but for an adult sized whiny self centered baby.

I included on the back of the sweatshirt several years marked out since the "last" doesn't ever play out.  I only started with 2018 because of the size of my stencils but this "last" shit has been going on far longer than 2018.

 

My plan was once she said her "it may be my last Christmas" line I was going to say "Oh! Speaking of that, I forgot I have another gift for you." and present her with this sweatshirt.  

She doesn't have much of a sense of humor when someone calls out her BS so everyone else would have enjoyed the laugh and benefited from the therapy of it.

On Christmas Day after having to sit there and have her talk at us for several hours I was all zoned out as we were packing up and I apparently missed THE LINE.  Mr. Husband says to me in the car she was right there in the kitchen as we were leaving saying it!  Well damn. 

This whole situation would be "funny" if it wasn't happening to us.   It's the stuff theatre plays are made from.  A domineering alpha female that sees herself as the matriarch of her dumpster barking demands at everyone, that will call your phone 6 times in a row and not for an emergency but just because you didn't pick up the first time (this is why she doesn't have my phone number) and likes to leave rude, self pity comments on all of your facebook posts (again, this is why I don't have a facebook). Maybe years down the way when it has actually been her last Christmas we can begin the healing process from the nasty attitude, self absorbed, woe-is-me nonsense she puts us through. But for now I have this sweatshirt that gives me a chuckle.  Honesty she doesn't deserve this sweatshirt.  She would just ruin it by dumping a bunch of dog piss pads on it.  It's safe with me.  

The good news is that in a way it is her last Christmas, all of our last Christmases hopefully with her.  She is... knock-on-wood... going to be moving across the country by the summer to live with her daughter who must have a good hook up for the vast variety of drugs (legal and not) to deal with her on a daily basis.

Fruit Cake Cookies

For gifts this year I made everyone Fruit Cake Cookies, far better than the cake!

I packaged them in boxes that I collaged with prints showing vintage ads and mail order images of all things fruit cake. 

The recipe is actually a non-vintage one.  I didn't do much different other than I used sugared crystalized pineapple other than the candied.  I'm going to have to start sourcing my candied fruit through highly dubious ways to get around it's ungodly high prices. One thing I noticed with these cookies is that even though it is directed to drop them by the scoop onto the cookie sheet before baking I would additionally add for you to give each cookie a smash because they do not spread.

 I was pretty impressed with how the boxes turned out so here is a flat shot (above) of the tops.

These cookies are super good.  I liked that I was able to bake them several days before Christmas since they keep well.  The original recipe has that they can be frozen too so that would be handy for getting a head start a month or so before the deadline of holiday doom.

I'll eventually update this post with the entire recipe since original sources disappear from internetland  but for now you can find it here.

Christmas Tree Bread

I made a couple of these Christmas Tree Breads for get togethers this season.

Inspired by this vintage 1958 ad for Pillsbury Hot Roll Mix:

I was surprised to find out they still make Pillsbury Hot Roll Mix so I was able to keep close to the original recipe, brand name and all.  The box made enough for 2 trees FYI.    There is a serving suggestion for a home made apricot filling which I shortcutted and did my own way .  For one I used apricot jam and walnuts and the other I used strawberry jalapeno jelly with walnuts.

Both turned out pretty good!

I iced the trees with a very runny powdered sugar glaze icing along with green candied cherries and maraschino cherries.

Here is a close up of the recipe:

And for fun I found an image of the same box of Pillsbury Hot Roll Mix (NOS) front and back seen in the vintage ad:

The shape of these pastries remind me of things other than trees though.  It really looks like an upside down large intestine or along those same lines a turd pile...kinda like the Mr. Hankey Christmas Shits Cinnamon Rolls I made several years ago.

This would be a great pastry to make to celebrate someone's colonoscopy! 

 

Tinsel Town 2: 2023 does 2021

My holiday decor from 2021 was so good I decided to do it again!

Here is the dining room in 2021 mode:

The only addition I made was a collection of vintage Christmas postcards I placed in the card holders:

Next up is the living room. 

 I did a few things different here but it's still pretty much 2021:

The candy garland with the mini red stockings is new this year along with using the mini silver trees on the green rack and flanking present stacks.

End tables pretty much 2021:

Stuffed Santas by the television:

I couldn't get this wall to come together the same as 2021.  I usually use the nails that are already in the wall from the regular decor but something wasn't working right so it's not 2021 spectacular.

Santa Shrine still the same:

In the cabinet display case I didn't set up the atomic blasted village this year as I usually do.  I decided to do a mini snowman display instead.

The elf wall in 2021 mode:

And lastly the record cabinet.  It's a bit different but fairly similar.

Since I am not really adding a lot of "new" items to my Christmas hoard anymore I may be at the top of my game here with how the decorating pulls together.  I do still have several items that don't make it out every year such as the rest of the set of the flocked reindeer (two seen above) that maybe I can try working into the look somewhere, but really I got all the flat surfaces cluttered up to the max!

Here are all of the past Christmas decor posts so you can compare (especially with the 2021 version):

Fallmas 2022

Tinsel Town 2021

Decked Out Christmas 2020

Xmas Decor 2019

 Kitschmas Decor 2018

Hall Decking 2017

Hall Decking 2016

Hall Decking 2015

Now the jingle bell hop has begun...2014

Hall Decking 2013

Hall Decking 2012

Christmas Decor 2011

Robots Attack Christmas 2010 (not too much decor though)

Tis the season for extension cords 2005

It's a Holly Dolly Christmas!

I decided to do a Christmas Tree theme this year kinda last minute.  I used to plan the theme out a year in advance so I had time to source everything on the cheap and come up fun ideas of what could become a clever ornament.  Doing theme trees had always been something that my mom and I planned out together.  I haven't done one since she passed away in 2020. I wasn't really planning on doing one this year.  However I heard Dolly Parton's new album "Rock Star" and was inspired to do one.

I happened to listen to it on the day (3 years later) my mom passed and most all of the songs remind me of her.  She would have loved the album.  This tree isn't all bang up like I have done in the past, it's a bit simpler which doesn't represent the over the top bubbly Dolly Parton but I did what I could.

I decided to go with the colors in her "Rock Star" album and promo images:  black, silver, gold, and leopard print.  I used one of my aluminum trees (silver) and decorated it in black and gold ball ornaments.  I also used some gold garland and a leopard print piece of fabric for the tree skirt.

For the themed ornaments I printed out images of Dolly and added a little leopard print bow.  I bought several toy guitars from 1.25 tree and decorated them with leopard print paper and sticker rhinestones and that's pretty much it other than the topper.

The tree topper had to be none other than the angel herself, Dolly! 

 I printed out her image from the new album and made her a leopard print paper skirt and feather wings bedecked in lots of rhinestones:

I think she turned out looking like a Vegas show girl, which I think Dolly would love.

Here is another Dolly past post:

Dolly Parton Cake

"I think your elves have gone berserk!"

"I went to the fire sale at the Baptist Bookstore in Shreveport last week.  They had mismatched manger scenes at incredibly low prices.  I cleaned them out of baby Jesuses which I made into ornaments!"

Steel Magnolias was a favorite movie of mine and my mom's.  The Christmas part is so superb and Annelle's over the top decorating never fails to impress me every time I see it.  

The crown jewel in my opinion is Annelle's wreath comprised of a mass of mismatched baby Jesuses (and later I realized it is also cluttered up with hair clips, rollers, and hair color samples which is so perfect for a hair salon!).  I have had a major fascination with making my own baby Jesus wreath for years and finally made one this year:

I wasn't able to get my hands on a bulk of singed baby Jesuses so instead I found images out in internetland, printed and edged them in gold glitter, hot glued those babies down to a cheap wreath we picked up from a church rummage sale along with adding gold glitter balls from 1.25 Tree to fill it out.  

Of all the times I have watched the movie I never noticed that Annelle's wreath had the extra Hair Salon bling on it until finding a movie still to include in this post.  I think pretty much all of those extra items could be sourced from 1.25 Tree if anyone out there is wanting to really do up their wreath full Annelle!

Since the wreath was Steel Magnolias inspired I decided to extend the theme on the entire stoop.

We put out our stuffed armadillo as a nod to the cake from the movie:

Only we aren't hacking into him.  He's Santa's side kick.  Oh!  I just thought of something! I should have given him a red nose! 

And to round it all out, Annelle's berserk elves decor inspo:

"Put the cords so they don't show.  It'll look tacky."

Tacky is what we are going for!

My version....

All the spiders got some holiday flare.

Keeping with the Baby Jesus theme I put out most of our vintage nativity sets. 

I decorated the silver tinsel wreath with all the little plastic mangers.

I wrapped the beam in garland and bows, along with everything else getting garland and bows!

Again, looking at the movie stills I am realizing I barely decorated in comparison to the epic porch Annelle presented.... beautiful blow molds that moved, everything draped in garland, banners, bows, pots of poinsettias....and music!

Here is the song she played:

Down in Louisiana....We have a Cajun Christmas!

Play it while looking at my front stoop images for that added bit of Annelle pizzazz!

Here are a couple of past posts that are Cajun/ Steel Magnolias themed:

Cajun Christmas Tree 2005

Cuppa cuppa cuppa cake and armadillo cake