Wishing you a Kentucky Fried Christmas!

Merry Sporkmas to all!

Hope it's finger lickin' good!

Santa Yule Log from Blamo!

What rolls down stairs,  alone or in pairs, and over your neighbor's dog?

What's great for a snack?  And fits on your back?

It's Log, Log, Log!

It's Log! It's Log!

It's big, it's heavy, it's wood!

It's Log! It's Log!

It's better than bad..it's good!

Everybody wants a Log!

You're gonna love it, Log!

Come on and get your Log!

Everyone needs a Log!

You'll definitely want this log....It's CAKE!  

I decided to try out making a traditional holiday dessert, the Yule Log, since it works so perfectly with our Ren and Stimpy Crock O' Christmas theme this year!

 Here is LOG! naked and X rated!

 Now he is all ready to deliver sticks and twigs to all the mediocre little children of the world!

It's Santa LOG!  I made his attire out of craft foam.

I had read that making these kind of jelly roll cakes are alot of work, which it was, but fun though!  I used this recipe.  My tips and hints: For the bark I dipped a fork in chocolate syrup and dragged it through the icing for a more barkish look.  I did not add the nutella (as the recipe directs) to the filling because I wanted the tree rings to really stand out against the chocolate cake spiral. The top of my cake which is suppose to be the coolest looking part with it's tree rings didn't work out for me.  I apparently went skimpy on the filling at some points because my log didn't get that fun rolly swirly look.  I would recommend after filling the cake to trim the top end right before standing it up which would help to exposed the rings better.  To pretty up the top of my cake I covered it with some of the leftover filling (left over from being too skimpy!), then forked in some of the tan icing for contrast.  Lastly, I drizzled a spiral of chocolate syrup around the top.

I couldn't resist making LOG! act out a traditional Yule Log Cake scene complete with little gnomes noodling around with their pet pig!

West Pole Wreath

This year's Christmas tree theme, Ren and Stimpy's Crock o' Christmas, continued to the front door.  We decided to not include the traditional items of prechewed gum or meat by products... this time.

Instead, it has mini LOG!s and bags of Gritty Kitty Litter.

Crock o' Christmas

Deck the halls with cabbage husks, meat rinds, and dirty diapers!

 I asked PB to help with the Christmas tree theme and ornaments this year.  He came up with A Ren and Stimpy Crock o' Christmas!  So go put on a hat made of garbage and enjoy!

We made hairy chest wigs, sacks of Gritty Kitty Litter, LOG! and....

Magic Nose Goblins!  

We also considered decorating with rubber nipples, cat hair balls, and socks filled with sausages but the store was fresh out.  They were apparently on all the cool kids wish list this year.

We went to a Comic Con earlier in the year and PB got Bob Camp's autograph!

I hope Stinky Wizzleteats fills all of your boots with cole slaw this season!

A Creature Christmas Encore

 It's a Creature Christmas again this year!  He was the very first theme that PB picked out when he was just a small tot back in 2006.  We kept that same theme for 2007 and 2008 because we loved it so much.   I still have all of the ornaments and we placed them on the small aluminum tree that resides in the dining room this year.   We revisited this theme because earlier in the year we attended a Comic Con where we got to meet Ricou Browning, the underwater creature in all 3 films!!!   He is the only living Universal Monster still with us.  

We got his autograph and placed it under the tree.  Meeting him was truly a highlight of my life.  I love the creature but another reason Ricou Browning is so amazing is his huge involvement with the water stunts and promoting national interest in the Florida Springs (Silver Springs, Weeki Wachee Springs, and several other neighboring ones) during the mid-century.  We love visiting these older vacation destinations and have been working on hitting up most of the Springs over the last couple of years.

At the Con we also attended a panel talk with Ricou Browning.  He told us that he makes more money doing these conventions than he ever did playing the role of the creature!

A few past posts from the depths of the Black Lagoon:

Creature-O-Latern
She-Creature Feature
Creature Christmas 2006

Hall Decking 2017

 Every flat space in my home whether it's horizontal or vertical is covered in some kind of holiday cheer.  Brought to you by flocked reindeer, aluminum trees,  plastic snowmen, or even Santa himself...in many various forms.

 One branch of Santa's clone factory.

 The bubble lights are a'bubbling and Santa is all a'lit!

Shelves are chocked full of glad tidings in the form of discarded holiday detritus!

The "new" little ghetto neighborhood featuring crack houses and a plenitude of squatter slums.

After all that decorating it's time to relax with the cryptozoology crew in the candy cane hot tub.

Previous hall decking posts of past:

2016
2015
2014
2012
2011
2005

Lassoing the Moon

 One of mine and Mr. Husband Sir's (aka Chip) favorite movies is It's A Wonderful Life.  When he proposed to me he decorated the living room in prints portraying travel posters all over the place just like the honeymoon scene in the movie.   He also hung a big huge yellow beach ball suspended from the ceiling with a piece of paper taped on it saying "The Moon".  That year for christmas I made him this embroidery piece based after the drawing seen in the film, to kind of commemorate our engagement. I changed up the look of the original figure to represent Mr. Husband as a Mexican Wrestler, which is his persona for a local horror host show he costars in.

Here is an image of the piece from the 1946 presentation that mine was based on.

I found the basic design for the pattern here:
It's a Wonderful Life Embroidery Pattern

Why not head over to Martini's and get Nick to mix you up a flaming rum punch while perusing these IAWL posts of Christmas pasts:
Aluminum Christmas Tree Museum: It's A Wonderful Life
It's A Wonderful Christmas Tree
It's A Wonderful Christmas Wreath
Bedford Falls Village

Village of the Holiday Damned

{"New" Christmas stuff this year}

This was the big find for me this year.  I got a huge box of slightly deteriorated putz houses (along with 4 vintage stockings) for 10 bucks.  I was at an estate sale that had been canceled but they were going to let the few people who had shown up shop anyway.  I was digging around in all the unmarked boxes that had been hauled down from the attic when I opened one to see these!!!  I was trying to keep my poker face when I asked the price.  The guy said "Those look like a project!" and was glad to be rid of them.  I have been wanting a set of these for 15+ years.  The houses had been in the attic for decades in the horrific Florida heat which caused the glue to separate some of the roofs and bases, however everything is there.  I have a plan for them, as is, for next Christmas!  This year I am just going to display a few in a mini ghetto.

Styrofoam Elfin Magic

{More "New" Christmas stuff I got over the past year}

I gathered together all of these vintage DIY guys from three different spots at a thrift.  It was a rescue mission commissioned from the big elf himself. 

Smiley the Solider boy

{"New" Christmas stuff this year}

I had been contemplating buying one of these blow mold soldiers on ebay but the prices and shipping were just too high (he is 2 1/2 feet tall).  I found this guy at a thrift store and on half price after Christmas sale for 10 bucks.  

Elf Gang

{"New" Christmas stuff for this year}

These little guys might be bad asses but they still can't help being cutie pies!  It makes it hard for them to be taken seriously when they try to knock over liquor stores.

Santa Salty and Peppy

{"New" Christmas stuff for this year}

A set of Holt Howard winking (or sneezing) salt and pepper shakers.  

Shiny Bright Table Christmas Tree

{"New" Christmas stuff this year}

Complete with package Shiny Bright Plastic table top tree, measures about 1 foot tall.   The clear plastic has specks of silver glitter.  It came with 3 mini boxes of glass ornaments also.  I really love the one in the picture.  The other two are plain old brown cardboard. 

I got the Santa in the pic last year.  He is just here to keep an eye on things.

Disgruntled Reindeer

{"New" christmas stuff this year}

Cute yet disgruntled reindeer hanging out with a vintage crafted Styrofoam tree, topped with a severed snowman head.

The Merry Christmas Shitter decor!

 {"New" Christmas stuff for this year}

This is one of my most favorite new items I picked up this year.  A complete still in package Holiday Bath Ensemble!

Cover everything thing you can in holiday cheer!

Toilet seat, tissue box, toilet paper roll, and even your can of hair spray!

Holiday Holly Garland

{"New" Christmas stuff this year}

A New Old Stock sack of Holiday Holly Garland, 10 feet long, with 50 leaves and 72 holly berries.  I have not taken the opportunity to account for all parts yet.  Let's hope all 72 holly berries have made it to 2017.

Cuddly Creepy Santa pillow pet

{"New" Christmas stuff this year}

Check this guy out!  I love him!  He is a handmade felt stuffed Santa head.  He is going on the couch!

Craft Felt Santa

{"New" Christmas stuff for this year}

Cute handmade craft felt Santa, measures about 15 inches tall.  I don't know what he is suppose to be used for.  I think to hang on the wall but he doesn't have a hook loop or anything.  I am actually not sure what to do with him. ?

Brrrr! Santa chillin' coasters

{"New" Christmas stuff this year}

New old stock stretchy Santa drink cover coasters.  They aren't coasters though.  They are more like stretchy sweat wrist bands with Santa's face on them.  Could work well for taking a tacky sweater jog on Christmas morn...for those who are into that kinda thing.  

Stocking up on stockings

{"New" Christmas decor this year}

I picked up several vintage stockings at an estate sale last summer.  At this same sale I got the most amazing find but that's in a later post.

Santa's got back!

For the next several posts I will be putting up pics of "new" Christmas stuff I got over the year.

This jointed cardboard Santa depicts that he has been using the Buns of Steel system Mrs. Claus got him for Christmas last year.

Tacky Holidays to you!

It's a Christmas flash back to 2014... PB's 5th grade Christmas class party!  I didn't have time to post about it when it happened, I was the room parent for 2 classes of 42 kids along with dealing with my own christmas ordeals.  Also the photos aren't very good. I was running the show so I couldn't take great pics also.  I decided to write it up this year anyway since I am feeling a little nostalgic.  The party was super fun and maybe someone out there would like to snag some of these ideas for their own holiday hootenanny.  

For the theme of the party I decided to go with Tacky Holidays since it's been a super popular trend for several years now for adults.  I thought the kids would really get a kick out of having their own version.  I also chose it so I could incorporate some vintage and thrifted items into the mix.

I started by having the kids decorate their own tacky sweater christmas ornaments for the class tree:

This is PB's.  As you can see he was going along with my christmas cuddly bear theme I was sporting.

 I also asked the parents to send in any Christmas stuff they didn't want anymore, like wrapping paper, bows, stockings, hats, cards....anything and everything.  The more and varied the better and more tacky!

 I got so much wrapping paper that I wrapped all 42 desks, the doors, and wrapped a bunch of big boxes for a photo drop background.  

Activities:

 Within all of the stuff I got from the parents there were several huge stockings.  I decided to use them for a game I came up with called '"How naughty?"  Each teacher had one of these large stockings hanging on a door in their room with the top open.  I marked levels on the outside of each stocking.  On the bottom it had "Not so bad" and went all the way to the top with "Watch out!"  The kids each got 3 chunks of coal to try to toss into the stocking to see how naughty they could claim their teacher had been.  I made the coal out of wadded up black bulletin board paper.   The kids loved it but I had a precursory warning to them of if they threw the coal anywhere but into the stockings the party stopped and they would have to clean the cafeteria, eat spinach, and listen to justin beiber.

  

The next game was building a snowman.  I split them into teams and they were given a roll of TP, some ribbon, colored construction paper, tape and scissors.  They had only 8 minutes to turn one of their team members into a Charming Charmin Frosty.

Another game was blind drawing.  They put a paper plate of their head and had to draw the holiday scene I described to them.   I think it involved a tree with decorations and presents under it.  Maybe a fireplace with a cat sitting next to it...I can't remember but I know if I was to look at the plates today it wouldn't be much help!

They also played a 'minute to win it' game where they had a tissue box strapped to their waists, resting on the backside, that had big jingle bells in it.  They had to bounce around until they got all the bells out.  I was scared we were going to get shut down with that game because the classrooms were on the second floor right above some first graders, but we didn't get any complaints.

The last activity we did was hilarious.  I came up with it from having so many extra stockings and wondering how to use them.  I thought it would be funny if I told the kids Santa had to do some major cut backs and had to give them stuff he had laying around his house as stocking stuffers.  I told them it was the thought that counted so when they pulled out their gift they had to say something nice and appreciative about it.  Originally I was going to just write odd gift ideas on slips of paper, such as a can of spam or toenail clippings.  But one of the other teachers started saying they had odd things laying around the storage room and before you could say "fruitcake", they had gathered 42 odd ball gifts for the kids: paper clips, sweet and low packets, an unwrapped blank vhs tape, etc.  PB got the vhs tape and I think it's still around here somewhere.  I wish I could remember specific things the kids said about their gifts, but I can't.  I don't think they thought it was as funny as we adults did. I laughed at least!

The last activity I had set up was a photo booth.  I covered a large wall with black bulletin paper and painted white snowballs on it.  I then had a bunch of large boxes wrapped to look like gifts along with all sorts of christmas fodder to pose with: wreaths, large plastic candy canes, santa hats, goofy springy tree hats, stockings, garlands...all stuff from the parents discards.  I took pictures of each of the kids, did a little bit of photo editing and then emailed the pictures to their parents.  I figured the parents had helped so much with sending in stuff that they should get a 'thank you'.

Also, of course, the kids made and wore tacky outfits at the party.  In the photo at the top of the post you can see my 1980's tree skirt I turned into an apron and my tacky head piece.  PB has the most amazing tacky 1980's troll sweatshirt as seen below.

 Oh yeah, and we also had loads of junk food, drinks, cookies, sugary treats along with a multi-topping ice cream sundae bar.

  And, at the end of the party the kids got to rip off the wrapping paper on their desks, which they enjoyed doing immensely. 

This is how I do parties. Clark W. Griswold style! Over the top.

I was looking through the photos of the kids and PB and I couldn't help but get teary eyed.  I miss fifth grade.

Blazing Death Torch of Christmas

image source

It's that time of year again.  I wish I could  have an outward appearance like that of the cozy organized happy image on the left but I feel like the depicted up in flames on the right. Last year I forced myself to listen to Christmas music all day all month and it seemed to lift my spirits to where I tolerated the holiday season... even enjoyed it.  I don't know if that is going to happen this year.  I am such a grinch.  A contrary grinch at that...I collect vintage Christmas stuff but hate all the hassles and expectations of Christmas.  Blah.  

I try to live and appreciate the moments that I am living in and I have realized that I haven't been doing a good job of it when it comes to Christmas.  I need to grasp and savor this time.  In just a few very short years PB will be all grown up and I will look back on my frustrations with the season and have regrets that I didn't eek out enough joy. 

This year I have talked PB into helping me with some of the tasks of the season.  He picked the theme of the main tree and is suppose to help me make the ornaments.  I have also got some of holiday shopping done.  PB and I figured out what he is going to make for gifts this year and we have already got our christmas card photos taken.  I am in the middle of decorating, which is a primary holiday strain but it always turns out nice and is what says it's Christmas around here.  We have also already started watching MST Christmas movies.  I guess I'm not in too bad of shape with holiday undertakings, which makes me feel like I have a fire extinguisher available to try to keep the holiday blaze somewhat under control.